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Even though we live in a hypersexual society, many people have a problem expressing their sexuality. The thought of taking your clothes off in front of someone and feeling comfortable in your own skin is something many people can't take. If you're happy with your sexuality, other people often see that as something negative.
Most people can't even bear to think about talking about their sexuality with someone else. But why is that? Why do people feel so stressed when they think about their bodies? Is there something we can do to feel confident without our clothes on?
There's no real reason why any of us should be ashamed of our sexuality. It's what makes us unique and special. Most of us learn about sexuality during our teen years, so why does that become a problem later on? Why do people feel bad about feeling good about their sexuality? There are a few reasons, and we must understand them to be able to make a change.
People realize their own sexuality at an early stage. We become aware that there's something between our legs as children. Most parents keep quiet on topics around our sexual organs and sexuality in general. This causes the shame emotion to be linked to these areas of our bodies as kids.
The subject of sexuality is often too taboo for many parents, but it shouldn't be. Our parents don't give us the answers and information we need, and as a result they make us feel like we're doing something wrong, which plants the seed of guilt that follows many of us throughout our entire lives. The worst part is that we don't know why.
And that's just the start of the problem. As we get older, we learn that thinking about our sexuality is something negative. That just waters the seed planted by our parents, leading to a sense of deep shame that is almost impossible to root out.
The message is that being sexual isn't normal. It's a sin, and no one should be a sinner. Did that happen to you while you were growing up? Sure it did.
Sadly, instead of fixing this issue during our teen years, we are put under even more pressure by society. There's a general idea about how sexuality works, but instead of promoting the right ideas, people often stick to imaginative norms that damage everyone who doesn't fit the bill.
We're seeded with ideas that are not based on reality; ideas like how the perfect body should look. If you're a guy, act like one. If you're a girl, be a lady and don't have sex often. Don't bring your girlfriend home until you're ready to marry her. Falling in love with someone of the same sex is not normal. Don't have sex before you're old enough, and so on.
There are hundreds of "rules" we are force-fed when growing up, and everything that steps out of the imposed boundaries is considered wrong. Instead of dealing with how life actually is in the present moment, we are constantly bombarded with how things should be. The fact is, people, are all different and life is not black or white. It is more of a shade of grey.
None of us can help the way we feel about our sexuality, and if our ideas are different than what's considered normal, we should learn to accept them rather than change something that can't be changed.
You must already be aware of the fact that the media is one of the biggest culprits in creating our distorted ideas of what sexuality should look like.
Women are under tremendous pressure to look in a certain way, and those expectations are often unrealistic and impossible. One of the biggest reasons why is porn. The adult industry completely changed the way the world thinks about women. We can see them having an orgasm in every adult movie, yet we're taught that women are impossible to please. Why is that?
And don't think that only women are under the pressure of stereotypes. Men also chase an idea of what a real man should look like. For example, action and spy movies portray men as polygamous. Every woman that crosses their path wants them.
So, are men supposed to get it on with any woman that wants them? Imagine what that does to a man who wants only one woman. Since most men watch porn these days, do they all have a big penis? Are all men supposed to last half an hour in bed like porn stars? Are you worthless because you can't?
You see, instead of understanding our own personality and finding out what makes us tick, we're pressured by unrealistic expectations most of us can't achieve. So, if we don't have those qualities, it means that we're not good enough. Sad. This leads women to seek out things like push up bras to make their boobs bigger. Many now go as far as getting breast implants. Men tend to purchase sex toys like penis pumps, penis extenders, and penis enlargement supplements.
The reality is that we're all taught wrong from a young age. By the time we become adults, the guilt imposed on us is often too much to deal with. Most people struggle to shake that feeling off their entire lives. But, where there's a will, there is a way. Before you can stop feeling guilty about your sexuality, you need to first understand why this kind of guilt isn't based on facts.
Sexuality is something we are all born with. As beings, humans need five things to stay mentally healthy. They are:
Since sex is a basic need, it's completely natural to feel the need to have it. You shouldn't feel guilty when you feel like having sex. It fits in all five categories above, so it must be something natural and normal, right?
While pleasure is the first thing that pops to mind when thinking about having sex, doing so provides a few health benefits as well. It works great as stress relief, it boosts our immune systems, and it simply makes us feel better and healthier, both physically and mentally. With that in mind, do you think that sex is something bad for you? Just think about it for a second.
We all need to express our sexuality because it's simply a part of who we are. Enjoying yourself in that way doesn't make you promiscuous, immoral, or a freak. You live only one life, so why shouldn't you enjoy it the way you want it?
If you're not doing something that hurts other people, why should you be worried about what they think? Your sexuality is your own thing. Not theirs. So don't allow others to limit who you are. Not now, not ever.
Now that you know that there's nothing wrong with you or your sexuality, you should make some changes to gain back the confidence taken from you so long ago. Here are a few tips on how to do that.
Remember that you're worried about norms that are being forced upon you since you were a child. Do some research, understand what's going on, and you'll see that most problems are caused by prejudice and envy. Don't worry about other people's expectations, and focus on the stuff you enjoy. It's not the destination that's important; it’s the journey.
The twisted way of thinking about sexuality and the norms forced upon all of us often leads to self-loathing. Stop thinking that you're not good enough. Look at your naked body in the mirror. Instead of focusing on what's missing, focus on the good stuff.
Enjoy your body; think about what you like, think about what makes you happy sexually. Feel free to step outside of the box and try all those things you've thought about, but never had the confidence to try by yourself or in a relationship, like using a sex toy.
Instead of thinking about what's wrong, think about what's right. Sure, you'll probably encounter negativity while exploring your sexuality, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's a journey where you have to experiment with things, so it can't all be good.
However, the most important thing is to act on your ideas. Give them a try, and if something doesn't work out, don't worry about it. Keep trying the things you find attractive and stay optimistic because everything will fall in its place in the end.
You're a unique person with a unique sexuality, and everyone around you is going through the same thing. Embrace your uniqueness and enjoy your sexuality without ever looking back.
Don't let others define who you are in any way, especially sexually. Find out what makes you tick, try new things, and let go of the misconceptions implanted in your thoughts. Understand that there's nothing wrong with your sexuality or your looks. You are you, and don't let others tell you how to live. Give it a try, and your quality of life will improve drastically.
If you have any questions, please contact us. We are always happy to help out.