How to Master the Clitoris.

female orgasm

study by The University of Western Sydney found that the clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings in the tip alone, which is twice as many nerve endings as the head of the penis. Making it the ultimate pleasure spot!

The clitoris has been the subject of much curiosity, confusion, and inquiry for as long as science has been around.

The word Clitoris comes from the Greek word "kleitoris", which translated to English means both “little hill” and “to rub.”

Emily Jamea, certified sex therapist explains, the clitoris is the only genital organ that operates just for female sexual satisfaction, and not for reproductive purposes.

The main way to achieve female orgasm is to incorporate clitoral stimulation to boost your pleasure. The clitoris is a major erogenous zone, in terms of nerve endings and structure (compared to the penis) and it can be stimulated it in several ways.

The clitoris is much bigger than most people think. Much like an iceberg, the part we see is only a small part of the organ. Often women who feel a G-spot-like orgasm are actually just feeling a different part of their clitoris being stimulated through penetration. 

clitoral structure

The C-Spot

The C-spot is the part of the clitoris that we can see. This special spot holds millions of nerve endings and is very sensitive to touch. Stimulating the spot during sex or masturbation can produce very intense and pleasurable orgasms. 

The G-spot is another well known erogenous zone located within the vaginal canal. However, sex therapists now agree that this intense stimulation is actually another type of clitoral stimulation. 

A survey published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that 18% of women reported the ability to orgasm from penetrative sex. The survey was conducted on over 1000 women.

Stimulating the clitoris during foreplay is the key to most women reaching orgasm during penetrative sex.

Now, pause and read the above sentence again!

The reason for this is because like the male penis the clitoris becomes erect when stimulated. When stimulated the clitoris becomes filled with blood and makes the area more sensitive and pleasurable.

The diagram below demonstrates how the clit becomes erect:

labia minora

You can stimulate the clitoris by using your hands, your partner’s hands, or a toy like a vibrator during foreplay.

According to the study, 37% of the women surveyed said that clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm during intercourse and an additional 36% said that, clitoral stimulation was not needed, but their orgasms felt more intense and pleasurable if their clitoris is stimulated during intercourse.

Science now believes that the old theory that clitoral and vaginal orgasms are two different things, is not correct. We now know that the clitoris continues inside of the body and vaginal orgasms are actually clitoral orgasms stimulated internally through penetration and sexual stimulation.


Start with Lubrication

The 8,000+ nerve endings we mentioned earlier means that the clitoris is sensitive to sexual arousal. It also means that it is sensitive to dry friction which causes discomfort and even pain.

The vaginal tunnel normally creates its own lube when you’re aroused, the external tip of the clitoris does not.

That is why it is important to use a lubricant during foreplay and masturbation. Any water-based lubricant is recommended. If you aren't sure what to choose, something like Astroglide Glycerin & Paraben Free Lubricant 74ml is a great start. It uses natural ingredients and is Glycerin & Paraben Free, and safe for use with sex toys.

super sensitive

When it comes to lube, "a little goes a long way", meaning start off with a few drops onto the clitoris area and apply more as required.


Advice for Beginners

If you’re new to clitoral stimulation, Emily provides the following tips for getting to know your clit.

1. Be mindful. 

Try gentle touch using a hand-held mirror to explore the area. Everybody's body is different, so observe the makeup of your clitoral complex.

Notice where your clit is where in relation to your inner labia.

Notice how large or small is it. Notice the clitoral hood, which is the small fold of skin at the top of the clitoris.

Notice where it is in relation to your vaginal opening. The more familiar you are, the easier it will be to locate during solo play.

2. Start Slow. 

Start by making a cup shape with your hand. Then place your hand over the vulva, and let the skin temperatures acclimate to one another.

3. Use Different patterns. 

Try using circular small motions with your index and middle fingers to massage the head.

Try rubbing your fingers back and forth across the top of your clitoris in small straight lines, up and down.

Other motions to consider include, kneading, pinching, swirling, stroking, tugging, and tapping on and all around the clitoris and labia.

4. Varying the Pressure. 

Try experimenting by pressing down with more pressure as your massage, and find an intensity that feels exciting without causing discomfort.

One of the main factors with sensitivity is the size of your clitoral hood.

clitoral anatomy

The hood is the small fold of skin that surrounds the head of the clitoris to protect its delicate tissue from friction. It is the equivalent of the foreskin on a penis.

When the clitoris becomes erect, the skin on the clitoral hood pulls back to uncover the sensitive tissue to pleasurable sensations.

Women with larger clitoral hoods may be able to enjoy more direct and intense touch because they have more of a barrier to direct touch. Women with smaller hoods may find that they prefer a lighter touch.

If you have a larger clitoral hood, you can also manually pull back the hood using your index finger and pulling upwards slightly on the skin just above your clitoris. Then try using your fingers or a vibrator and you will notice the increased sensitivity.

5. Be Indirect. 

If focusing on the hood and head of the clit are feeling too sensitive, try massaging indirectly through your labia.

You can use your fingers or a vibrator to rub your labia over the top of your clitoris. Using small circular motions are a great option.

Massaging the outer areas of the vulva, including the labia majora and minora and opening of the vagina can be very pleasurable, recommends Shannon Chavez, who is a certified sex therapist in Los Angeles.

If You Have a Partner

The same methods described above can be used by your partner during foreplay and sex, either with a sex toy, your partner’s fingers or tongue.

The key to success with a partner is to use directive language.

Examples include:

  • ‘a bit softer’
  • ‘a little to your right’
  • 'not directly on the button'
  • 'use a circular motion'

If you prefer not to use words, try moving their hand to the right spots.

Introducing these types of activities during foreplay is a great way to let your partner know what makes you feel good, and you want them to be part of that.

Advanced Techniques

If you consider yourself a master at working the little man in the boat, then consider these next-level moves.

1. Layering

This technique involves massaging your clitoris indirectly, through your labia. This will control the sensitivity and pressure applied to your clitoris. This technique uses your fingers to move your labial folds over your clitoris to apply pressure.

2. Broadening

This is a technique used to explore what different surface areas feel like on your clitoris. Try and move away from using a finger to two, and try using the surface of the palm of your hand.

When practising with a partner, ask your partner to lie on their back while you straddle them sitting on top. Instead of moving up and down. Next, angle your body forward a touch (about a 45-degree angle), and let your clitoris rub against the shaft of their penis or strap-on.

You can also choose positions like doggie style, and one of you can use your hand to stimulate the clitoris with fingers or toys during penetration.

Use Sex Toys

If you're keen to really amp up your clitoral stimulation, then try incorporating some tech-savvy toys.

1. Wand Toys

Wand vibrators are a popular go-to for many that enjoy clitoral stimulation.  The heads are larger than traditional vibrators and cover more surface area of the clit. The motors in the wands are also more powerful and provide deep rumbling bass vibrations.

masturbation techniques

2. Try Internal Stimulation

Thrusters and curved vibrators will stimulate the G-spot and can be moved from side to side and stimulate the deeper parts of the clitoris. They also provide great vaginal penetration stimulation.

sexual pleasure

3. Clitoral vibrators

The best masturbation techniques usually involve experimenting with toys that are specifically designed to give you a clitoral orgasm. If you are playing solo, consider licking and sucking toys like the LELO Sila. It mirrors the sensation of oral sex and can be applied directly to the clitoris for intense stimulation, or use around the clitoris for a more gentle experience.

erectile tissue


For partnered sex try using a couples vibrator in the missionary position. A toy like the We-Vibe Match is a great option. Insert the smaller arm into the vagina, and position the larger arm on the front of your clitoris. You or your partner can use the remote control to explore different settings, vibrations and intensities to make you both pop!

vaginal orgasm


Take Away

Trying new techniques can be frustrating to learn. Try your best to be patient with yourself and your partner when it comes to reaching climax.

Most online porn and movies show people with vulvas orgasming after very short periods of sexual activity, and it's not accurate of reality.

If your goal is to have an eye-rolling orgasm, it’s not at all abnormal to need 15 minutes or more to get there. Try alternating between internal and external stimulation and focus on what feels good and not so good.

The information contained in this site is provided for informational purposes only, and should not be construed as medical advice on any subject matter. You should not act or refrain from acting on the basis of any content included in this site without seeking professional medical advice.

Erica Cuff

Author: Erica Cuff

Erica Cuff has been involved in the sex toy industry since 2000. Working behind the motto “Sex Toys should be fun”, Erica provides useful tips & advice from years of hands on experience and research with adult products. 

Happily married since 2005, she knows first-hand how our sex lives can become repetitive if we don't give them the time and effort they deserve. If you're looking to spice things up in the bedroom, then Erica is your gal! She lives to cover topics that empower men, women and couples needing inspiration to keep lovemaking exciting and fun.

Her other focus is teaching women how to properly master the “bald man in the boat” to achieve the best orgasms ever (partner or no partner!) Her informative and unique tips, techniques and advice is up there with certified sex therapists and Sexologists, but with the added advantage of her expereince in the adult toy business.

Erica Cuff's Linkedin profile highlights her professional background, experience and training.

Leave a Comment