Using a Vibrator: Couples Edition

couples vibrator

Using a sex toy doesn’t just have to be a solo adventure. Many couples often bring one into their bedroom play to spice things up that little bit more.

Some couples worry a little about introducing sex toys to their sex life, more so men than women in our experience. Will it make your man feel inadequate? Will he enjoy it? Worry not! Most men report that once they take a leap of faith and use adult toys in the bedroom, they actually enjoy them and wish they had introduced one earlier.

Seeing the looks of ecstasy on your partners face is always a rewarding experience. Whether you’re doing it with a penis, tongue, finger or vibrator, the satisfaction is still the same. So, if you want to bring your partner to some new pinnacles of pleasure with an adult toy, then go for it! It will be worth the effort.

Vibrating toys aren’t just for use on women either. Many women take great pleasure from using their vibrators on their men. Being able to examine different areas of his body can be a huge turn-on for both parties, and you’ll love seeing the look on his face just like he does when he uses it on you.

Finding the Sweet Spot

When you first start using a vibrator on your other half, you may have to start by doing a little investigation to find out their sweet spots. If they have used the vibrator on themselves, then they might be able to point you in the right direction, guiding you to their favourite areas.

sex therapist

Whether or not they do, take some time to explore all over their body.

Listen to your partner, and watch their reactions to the different areas you explore. It should be fairly easy to tell when you hit the right spots. There’s no bigger turn-on than being pushed over the edge by someone who’s found a pleasurable spot that you’ve never managed to hit yourself.

Tips For Using a Vibrator on a Woman

Using a vibrator on a woman is a bit like a buffet. There are many options. If you’re looking for a good place to start, combining a vibrator with some oral sex is a good first step. Using your tongue whilst moving the vibrator about allows you to still be active such a sexual act.

inner thighs

This means while you’re exploring her body, your tongue will still be at work so there won’t be peaks and troughs in the level of stimulation she feels. This also means you’re still doing some of the work yourself, so if you don’t have to rely entirely on the vibrator.

The clitoris is the most sensitive area of the woman’s sexual organs. It has more nerve endings than the penis and the visible exterior is only around the size of a pea. Having so many sensitive nerves in such a small area makes the clit a very sensitive and powerful area to stimulate.

Using a sex toy like a finger vibrator for clitoral stimulation on and around a woman's clitoris during intercourse or other sexual activity can really make her feel amazing. You do need to be careful with clitoral action though, as direct contact with the clitoris can be way too sensitive and not enjoyable. It is best to work the area around the outside of the clit and start with one of the lower vibrator settings.

Contact for a long period of time can also be overwhelming, numbing or even painful in some situations. This part of the vagina is very sensitive, so you might want to save direct or near direct contact until she is close to orgasm in order to get the most satisfaction.

How to use clitoral vibrators

Women have the ability to achieve multiple orgasms in close succession, much easier than men. A woman orgasm can be described more as a pleasure wave of highs, instead of one big explosion, like with men.

If you’re planning on continuing past the first orgasm for one or many more, then you’ll likely need to practise your technique. Some women after orgasm become hypersensitive to touch around their genitals, just like men. These women will usually not be able to handle additional vibrator stimulation soon after orgasm. So you will need to switch over to a more delicate approach, and possibly a manual form of stimulation following her orgasm.

Women who do not experience hypersensitivity following orgasm might be able to handle additional vibrator stimulation after their first orgasm. While they might not want you to turn it off, they’ll probably still feel quite sensitive and tingly after orgasming. It’s usually a good idea to use less intense stimulation and lower the power setting of the vibrator during this period. After a while, you should be able to begin to increase the power and vibration modes again as she approaches her second orgasm.

G-Spot stimulation can also be much easier when working with a sex toy. Some women find it difficult to either find or provide precise stimulation to their own G-Spots. When you let your partner explore the area using a vibrator, you can simply direct them to the right location, and then sit back and relax as they drive you orgasm.

Tips For Using a Vibrator on Men

While men don’t have access to a vagina (obviously), there are still many parts of their body that they’ll love you stimulating. Different vibrators will be more suitable to some specific areas, but in general, any vibrator you already have access to will work quite fine. The most important part is having fun, playing and exploring to find the areas he enjoys you stimulating.

g spot stimulation

The penis is a great place to start, and you might simply add the vibrator to anything you already do for him, like oral sex. Try pressing it against your cheek while giving a blowjob, or holding it inside your palm while using your hands. Once he’s got used to the feeling of the vibrator, it might be time to move onto some other parts of the body.

You can tease and please your man in many of the same ways you might want him to tease and please you. Running a vibe up and down his thighs, across his nipples, or even the back of the neck may get him really fired up. Work your way closer and closer to the penis and then pull away at the last second, then when you finally do make contact he’ll hit the ceiling.

The scrotum is an area that only men have, and while it might not be your first thought of as one of the places to stimulate it can actually be quite enjoyable to some men. This part of the body tends to be more sensitive for men, so it’s a good idea to turn your vibrator down to a low setting at the beginning. Run the vibrator all over the testicle area, and gently stroke his balls with it. Usually, this will result in a rock-hard erection that he will be begging you to touch and suck.

A great vibrator both men and women can enjoy together is a vibrating cock ring. A vibrating cock ring is designed to provide clitoral stimulation as well as intense stimulation directly to the penis.

what is a vibrating cock ring

Penetration

Almost all vibrators can be used for penetration. Some are more effective at it than others and depending on the size and shape, some are much more comfortable than others.

partnered sex

Whether or not you’ll be using a vibrator for penetrative sex with your partner is a key consideration and will make a big difference to both of your experiences. They will be the only one who understands if your technique is working or not, so if you don’t know what they’d prefer, make sure to ask throughout the process. Nothing kills the mood faster than something popping in somewhere it wasn’t expected! Communication is always key with all couples sex toys.

Both men and women can enjoy vibrator penetration. For women, it tends to be a little more obvious, as that’s what the vagina is designed for. However, anal penetration can be enjoyed by you both men and women.

If you are planning on anal play, you’ll definitely need some lubrication, as the anus doesn’t produce its own lubricant. Men get an added bonus with this kind of vibrator play because it will stimulate their prostate gland which can lead to an entirely different kind of orgasm he might never have felt before.

If you are interested in finding out expert tips for prostate stimulation, you can check out our guide below.

best prostate massagers guide

Sex with Vibrators

While the main focus of this guide so far has been on teasing, foreplay and masturbation with your partner, you can also use a vibrator during penetrative sex as well.

we-vibe

Some vibrators will be easier to use than others, which is usually because of their size. Smaller vibrators will be easier to manoeuvre and position comfortably, as some sexual positions don’t leave you much room for hands, arms and large vibrators. That’s not to say that you can’t use a larger vibrator during sex, you’ll just have a bit more trouble finding a comfortable position for them.

Whichever sex position you like is entirely up to you and your partner! They all have different benefits and disadvantages when trying to combine a vibrator, and some positions will open up areas of opportunities that others will not.

Luckily through the latest sex tech, there are purpose-built couples vibrators. Sex toy manufacturers like We-Vibe make C-Shaped vibrators that are designed to be used during sexual penetration and stimulate both partners.

couples vibrator

One end of these C-Shaped couples vibes is designed to be inserted into the vagina and the other end sits snuggly against the outside of the vagina, resting on the clitoris. The penis is then inserted underneath the we vibe vibrator and you can both enjoy a close and intimate sexual experience like no other you have experienced before!

 

Multiple Vibrators

There are erogenous zones all over the body that love to be stimulated. While you can only use a vibrator in one spot at a time, there is no reason you can’t use multiple vibrators at the same time!

With a combination of vibrators that can be used for penetration in combination with handheld vibrators and cock rings, you can potentially stimulate four or five of these areas at the same time.

If your partner is up to the task and can handle all multiple stimulations, you can give them a night they’ll remember by using a selection of sex toys at the same time.

Wireless Vibrators

One of the most popular types of sex toys you to use on your partner is the remote-controlled vibrator. And his doesn’t just have to be used in the bedroom either! Your partner can wear certain types of these vibrators, sometimes referred to as vibrating panties at any time. The remote or controlling phone app allows you to decide when, where, and how much stimulation they get.

Vibrating Panties

The tension of not knowing when the vibrator is going to kick in can make these couples sex toys so exciting. If you tease them by turning it on and off they’ll be begging for more. You can use them on a date night, or play a game of vibrator chicken, by both wearing one and having the other person remote!

Whatever kind of vibrator you choose, they really don’t have to be a personal toy. Bringing it into your sex life and involving your partner can completely change your relationship and take it to new heights. So next time you’re planning a late-night session, whip out a vibrating sex toy and see what you think! They are designed to improve our sex lives and you won’t regret it.

If you have any questions, please contact us. We are always happy to help out.
 

Erica Cuff

Author: Erica Cuff

Erica Cuff has been involved in the sex toy industry since 2000. Working behind the motto “Sex Toys should be fun”, Erica provides useful tips & advice from years of hands on experience and research with adult products. 

Happily married since 2005, she knows first-hand how our sex lives can become repetitive if we don't give them the time and effort they deserve. If you're looking to spice things up in the bedroom, then Erica is your gal! She lives to cover topics that empower men, women and couples needing inspiration to keep lovemaking exciting and fun.

Her other focus is teaching women how to properly master the “bald man in the boat” to achieve the best orgasms ever (partner or no partner!) Her informative and unique tips, techniques and advice is up there with certified sex therapists and Sexologists, but with the added advantage of her expereince in the adult toy business.

Erica Cuff's Linkedin profile highlights her professional background, experience and training.

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